It’s All in Your Head — ft. Josh Burger

Summary

Sports psychologist Josh Burger joins Lisa Stone to discuss the mental and emotional side of junior tennis, with a strong focus on what parents can do to manage their own emotions and behavior while supporting their child’s development. The conversation covers how pressure — both situational and self-imposed — affects players and parents, the problems with over-indexing on UTR/ratings, and practical mental skills tools (self-talk, between-point routines, visualization, breathing) that athletes can build at age-appropriate stages. A recurring theme is that parents should view themselves as “performers” alongside their children and model the growth mindset they want their kids to adopt.

Guest Background

• Josh Burger — Sports psychologist, founder of Tiebreaker Psych (tiebreakersych.com)
• Former junior player from Fairfield, CT; played D3 college tennis at Clark University
• Masters degree in sports psychology; coached at Sacred Heart University (D1) and Tennis Hall of Fame in Newport, RI
• Launched full-time practice in 2019; ~60% tennis clients, mix of juniors and adult league players
• Co-hosts a podcast on the mental side of tennis with Dr. Brian Lomax

Key Topics Discussed

1. Pressure — situational vs. self-imposed: Players and parents add unnecessary pressure through expectations tied to investment (time, money) and results. Billie Jean King’s “pressure is a privilege” is referenced but nuanced with the reality of self-imposed stress.

2. UTR/Ratings obsession: Lisa and Josh both identify the hyper-focus on UTR as a systemic problem. UTR is a snapshot, not a value statement. Key stat shared: Aryna Sabalenka’s career-high ITF junior ranking was 225; Jannik Sinner’s was 133 — proving junior rankings don’t predict pro success.

3. Parents as performers: Parents should set intentions before matches (body language, post-match language, car ride home plan) just as athletes set competitive intentions. When parents mess up, they should own it and model accountability.

4. Mental skills toolkit: Self-talk awareness and intentional self-talk; between-point reset routines (~16-20 seconds, referencing Dr. Jim Loehr’s “16 second cure”); visualization and mental rehearsal; breathing and relaxation strategies; pre/post-match preparation routines.

5. Trust your training: Referenced JTCC’s “Trust Your Training” sign. The danger of “paralysis by analysis” — giving yourself too many technical instructions during match play rather than trusting what was built in practice.

6. Growth mindset and coachability: Willingness to take risks and try new things. Andy Roddick’s serve origin story used as an example. Mistakes as learning opportunities, not failures.

7. Age-appropriate expectations: A 6-year-old’s mental game expectations (sportsmanship, handshake) look very different from a 15-year-old’s. Mental skills training should start early as a foundation, not reactively after problems surface.

Actionable Advice for Families

• Parents: Set a personal intention before every match — what will your body language, facial expression, and post-match behavior look like? Write it down.
• Parents: When you react poorly courtside, own it, apologize, and tell your child you’re working on it. This models the growth mindset you want them to have.
• Players: Build a between-point routine (16-20 seconds) to reset after every point — good or bad. Make it automatic through practice.
• Players: Focus on process goals (how I want to play) rather than outcome goals (I need to win). At the end of a match, evaluate whether you played the way you intended.
• Both: Stop using UTR/ratings as identity markers. They are a snapshot, not a destiny. Don’t avoid matches to protect a number.
• Both: Start mental skills training early — don’t wait for a crisis. Foundational tools (self-talk, breathing, routines) can be introduced at any age.

INTENNSE Relevance

• Family engagement: This episode directly addresses the parent-athlete relationship dynamic — a core INTENNSE concern. The framing of parents as performers with their own preparation needs is a content angle INTENNSE could amplify.
• Community building: The “parents need tools too” message is an underserved content area. INTENNSE could develop parent-specific mental preparation resources or workshops that complement existing player-focused sports psychology services.
• Ratings/rankings discourse: The UTR critique aligns with INTENNSE’s opportunity to reframe how families measure progress — away from numbers and toward developmental milestones.
• Guest network: Josh Burger (Tiebreaker Psych) is a potential content collaborator or expert resource for INTENNSE’s family-facing materials. His co-host Dr. Brian Lomax adds another connection point.

Journey Stage Classification

Club to Competitive / Junior to College — The episode primarily serves families navigating USTA tournament play through the college recruiting process, with foundational principles applicable from the earliest competitive stages (age 6+) through college transition.