Summary

JY Aubone (INTENNSE Player Relations) returns to ParentingAces to address the perennial issue of questionable line calls in junior tennis. Rather than the typical “how to stop cheating” framing, JY reframes the conversation entirely: 99% of kids are not cheaters — 100% make bad line calls. The episode provides a step-by-step framework for players to handle bad calls on court, challenges parents to change their language from “cheating” to “mistakes,” and argues that the real development opportunity is building empathy, emotional regulation, and focus on controllables. JY also previews his new tennis journal as a tool for mid-match recentering.

Guest Background

• JY Aubone: INTENNSE Player Relations. Tennis coach, former Florida State collegiate player. Known for match analysis, video review, and coaching blog. Creator of the Aubone Tennis Match Journal. In this episode, he shares a personal story of cheating back on purpose during a college match — and the guilt and poor performance that followed — to illustrate why he never coaches retaliation.

Key Topics

Reframing “Cheating” as “Mistakes”

• JY uses “cheating” only in the blog title as “clickbait” — in the content, he deliberately avoids the word
• Core thesis: “99% of kids in junior tennis are not cheaters, but 100% make bad line calls”
• Kids who do make intentionally bad calls are likely acting out of environmental pressure — they’re “just trying to be happy” and are “a product of the environment they grow up in”
• Even the intentional cases: “These are kids that need help. These are kids that need a psychologist. Something is going on in their life.”
• The label “cheater” is dehumanizing and counterproductive — it compounds the child’s existing struggles

Step-by-Step Framework for Handling Bad Calls

1. First response: Assume it’s a mistake, not cheating. “My opponent made a mistake. I think the ball was in.”
2. Get a referee: Calmly tell your opponent “I’m just going to go get a ref.” If asked why: “I want them to oversee the calls so we don’t make any mistakes.” No accusations, no escalation.
3. Communicate carefully to the ref: “He called the ball out. I saw it in. Do you mind overseeing for a bit?” Less drama = more helpful ref.
4. If it continues after the ref leaves: Get the ref again. Same process. No change in approach.
5. If persistent (the 1% scenario): Have a calm, genuine conversation at the net: “I think you’re making a lot of mistakes, but that’s okay. I forgive you. I know you’re a good person deep down.” This must be sincere, not sarcastic — it throws deliberate cheaters off their game.
6. Never cheat back: JY will “never coach” retaliatory line calls because most kids can’t handle the guilt and reputational damage, and it often makes their own play worse.

The “Controllables” Philosophy

• Key question when upset about calls: “Why am I at deuce in the first place?” Focus on the 40 unforced errors, not the 2-3 disputed line calls
• “I never cared that I got cheated when I was up 5-1” — bad calls only feel devastating when the score is close, which means there are bigger problems to fix
• Every successful collegiate and professional player will say that rankings, ratings, and line calls never “held them back” — they focused on self-improvement
• Control what you can: shot selection, placement, consistency, focus, discipline, mindset

Parent Language and Influence

• Parents talking about “cheating” in front of their children — even to other parents — shapes the child’s entire worldview
• “If parents are saying ‘you were cheated this and you were cheated that,’ the child’s gonna think the same thing”
• This creates a cycle: child blames line calls instead of focusing on improvement, enjoyment decreases, burnout risk increases
• Parents should model empathy: “That kid’s struggling. We don’t know what’s going on. We’re not going to judge.”
• “A kid will listen to the parent over the coach. The parent can convince the player the coach is wrong. It’s harder for me to convince the player the parent is wrong.”

JY’s Personal Story: Cheating Back at Florida State

• In a college match, JY cheated back on purpose after being unable to resolve the situation through other means
• “I went back into my ethics class in sport management and told them I cheated on purpose. I did it.”
• Felt immediate guilt; played worse afterward
• Also shared a practice story: Coach Dwayne Kroll at FSU brought hecklers to a practice match without warning JY — JY “snapped” and lost 6-0, then realized how unprepared he was for adversity
• Uses both experiences to argue: practice handling these situations before they happen in competition

Practice Scenarios

• Coaches should set up practice matches where one player is instructed to make an egregious call — “I’ll back you up. I’ll say I didn’t see it too good”
• This gives players a safe space to practice the entire emotional regulation sequence
• FSU story as proof: Dwayne Kroll’s “brilliant idea” of bringing hecklers to practice exposed JY’s weakness — it was painful but necessary

Electronic Line Calling

• Swing Vision being tested at some tournaments for challenges (not automatic calling)
• JY acknowledges ELC won’t be widespread soon enough to help current junior players
• Even with refs on every court, “every other sport has problems with referees — everybody’s complaining”
• Reinforces his core message: external solutions won’t save you — internal development will

Aubone Tennis Journal Preview

• Created to give players a “legal coaching” tool during matches (phones not allowed, but physical journals are)
• Pre-match page: goals, strategies, nutrition
• Post-match page: reflection on goals, what opponent did well, coach’s thoughts section
• Coaching tips section: situational advice (playing against big servers, handling wind, etc.)
• Functions as “assistant coach” at changeovers when emotions overwhelm the ability to think
• Available on Amazon; Parenting Aces members may receive a discount

Actionable Advice for Families

1. Change your language immediately — replace “cheating” with “mistakes” in every conversation about line calls, including conversations with other parents
2. Teach empathy, not retaliation — when your child faces bad calls, help them consider what pressures the opponent might be experiencing
3. Practice the framework — work with your child’s coach to set up practice scenarios where they handle bad calls using JY’s step-by-step approach
4. Focus on the scoreline, not the calls — help your child understand that being in a close match means there are controllable factors (unforced errors, strategy) worth more attention than 2-3 disputed calls
5. Never encourage cheating back — the emotional and reputational cost far outweighs any perceived justice
6. Get a referee calmly every time — model calm, respectful communication with officials; drama reduces their willingness to help
7. Give the journal to your child — having a physical tool to open at changeovers provides a recentering mechanism when emotions run high

INTENNSE Relevance

• JY Aubone is INTENNSE Player Relations — this episode deeply showcases his coaching philosophy, emotional intelligence framework, and credibility with the ParentingAces audience
• The line-calling problem is significantly reduced in INTENNSE’s format: on-court coaching means disputes can be mediated by the team coach, and the timed format creates less scoreboard pressure that drives bad calls
• JY’s “controllables” philosophy maps directly to INTENNSE’s design: the format removes many of the uncontrollables (isolation, no coaching, infinite match length, self-officiating in high-stakes situations)
• His emphasis on practicing adversity scenarios in training aligns with INTENNSE’s positioning as a “structured practice match” environment
• JY’s journal and coaching tools build the INTENNSE coaching bench’s intellectual property and player development methodology
• The episode’s emotional authenticity (JY admitting to cheating in college, sharing guilt) builds trust with the tennis parent community — this humanizes the INTENNSE brand

Notable Quotes

“99% of kids in junior tennis are not cheaters. But 100% make bad line calls.” — JY Aubone

“These are kids that need help. Something is going on in their life. If those kids didn’t encounter that and just encountered something else, they would never be like this.” — JY Aubone

“Take this from a person who in a collegiate tennis match, I cheated back on purpose. I’ve been through every situation that every parent is trying to protect their child from. You cannot protect them.” — JY Aubone