Turning Tragedy to Positivity with the Matt Stevenson Junior Tennis Series ft. Gary Poon

Summary

Gary Poon — Hong Kong-born, New York-raised, Long Island-trained junior player, Port Washington Tennis Academy alumnus from the era of John McEnroe and Mary Carrillo, attorney by profession — recounts the tennis friendship that changed his life’s purpose: his relationship with Matt Stevenson, a junior tennis coach and instructor who opened up to Poon about his mental health struggles as a teenager, received support for fifteen years, and took his own life in 2017 at age 32. Rather than a book (Stevenson’s own suggestion), Poon channeled Stevenson’s wish to help young people into the Matt Stevenson Junior Tennis Series — USTA-sanctioned tournaments in San Diego, New York (Flushing Meadows), and Washington, D.C. that embed the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) as a visible, age-appropriate presence at every event. The episode is the most direct mental health advocacy episode in the ParentingAces Season 10 catalog, distinguishing carefully between mental toughness (what you do in competition) and mental health (what you need in life).

Guest Background

Gary Poon was born in Hong Kong and moved to the United States at age eight, settling on Long Island in New York. He started playing tennis against walls in Hong Kong, continued in Huntington, and was admitted to Port Washington Tennis Academy at approximately age 12-13. He trained alongside John McEnroe (then reaching Wimbledon quarterfinals at 17-18) and Mary Carrillo; Harry Hopman, the legendary Australian Davis Cup coach, was the tennis director and reportedly identified Poon as someone worth developing seriously. Poon’s father declined on the grounds of education — a decision Poon initially cried about and eventually came to understand. He became an attorney, played recreational tennis throughout his adult life, took a fifteen-year break for golf to spend time with his father, and returned to tennis. He met Matt Stevenson at McLean Racquet Club in Virginia when he joined the club recovering from knee surgery; Stevenson was 16-17 and “around his level” before growing into a more dominant player as he matured. Their weekly tennis matches became a deep friendship.

Key Findings

1. The Matt Stevenson Friendship: Tennis as the Container for a Fifteen-Year Mental Health Conversation

Matt Stevenson opened up to Gary Poon about his mental health struggles at approximately age 18-19, during their regular weekly tennis sessions at McLean Racquet Club. Poon, not a mental health professional, did what friends do: he listened, researched the diagnoses Stevenson mentioned, encouraged him to seek therapy (which he did, variably), supported medication treatment, and remained present across fifteen years. Stevenson built junior programs at McLean Racquet Club and Langley Swim and Tennis Club, reaching 120-150 students at the height of his career. His 2017 memorial drew over 150 people, including standing room outside. His final notes expressed a wish that Poon find a way to help young people; the tennis tournament series is Poon’s answer to that wish.

2. Mental Toughness and Mental Health Are Not the Same — and Confusing Them Can Harm Kids

The episode’s most important conceptual contribution: Lisa Stone and Poon explicitly distinguish mental toughness (competitive coping skills used during matches) from mental health (the foundational psychological wellbeing required to function in life). The dangerous conflation: kids who learn to “tough it out” on the court may conclude they can tough it out through clinical depression or anxiety — and that conclusion is wrong. Mental toughness does not transfer into clinical mental health management. A player can be extremely mentally tough under competitive pressure and simultaneously be experiencing a crisis that requires clinical attention, not competitive coping strategies. This distinction should be embedded in every junior tennis program’s coaching vocabulary.

3. Tournament as Mental Health Platform: AFSP Table Next to the Tournament Desk

Poon’s operational innovation: the Matt Stevenson Junior Tennis Series looks, on the surface, like a standard USTA-sanctioned junior tournament. The difference is a table from the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) placed immediately adjacent to the tournament desk — the highest-traffic location at any junior tournament. The materials are age-appropriate for players from 10 to 18: signs to watch for depression and anxiety, resources that are free, confidential, and available 24/7, and the message that if you need help, the help exists. The placement strategy is deliberate: it reaches kids and families in a low-pressure environment, without a formal mental health “session” that teenagers would resist, by simply being present in the physical space where they already are.

4. 145 Kids in San Diego, 207 in New York: Demand Exceeded Expectations from Year One

The 2019 inaugural tournament in San Diego was projected for 80-100 participants; 145 enrolled, requiring satellite courts at a local high school. COVID cancelled the 2020 edition. The 2021 series relaunched in September across three cities: San Diego (level five, 145+ players), New York at Flushing Meadows (level six, 207 players — one of the largest events ever held at that facility, held on the same courts where Medvedev had practiced during the US Open), and Washington, D.C. (level five, 194+ by deadline, doubles-only format). The DC tournament was placed at the Rock Creek Tennis Center (site of the DC Open), with Stevenson’s mother attending as part of the homecoming significance.

5. The Doubles-Only DC Tournament: Social Support as Format Design

The DC leg of the Matt Stevenson Series was designed as doubles-only — a deliberate format choice tied directly to the series’ mental health mission. Poon’s logic: singles leaves players alone on the court; doubles gives players a partner, creates built-in social support, mirrors the series’ broader message about emotional connection and shared burden. Mixed doubles was offered at all three events; in New York, the 12s, 14s, and 16s mixed doubles draws actually filled — which Poon specifically celebrates as meaningful because encouraging mixed-gender doubles in junior tennis is itself a statement about inclusivity and collaboration over gender separation.

6. The Stigma of Mental Illness in Sport: Naomi Osaka and Coco Gauff as Destigmatizing Forces

The episode was recorded in the immediate aftermath of Naomi Osaka’s French Open press conference withdrawal (mental health) and during the broader summer 2021 conversation about athlete mental health. Poon directly credits Osaka, Gauff, and other public athletes for normalizing the conversation: when elite athletes who compete at the highest levels disclose depression and anxiety, the message to junior players is that mental health struggles do not exclude you from athletic excellence. The Marty Fish Netflix documentary is cited as an additional resource — specifically for older teens — for understanding how mental health struggles manifest at the professional level and how they can coexist with, and eventually undermine, high-level competitive performance.

7. Port Washington Alumni: Harry Hopman Trained a Generation That Includes McEnroe

Poon’s account of training at Port Washington during the McEnroe years (late 1970s) provides one of the few firsthand accounts in the ParentingAces catalog of what training looked like when McEnroe was reaching his first Wimbledon quarterfinals at 17. The academy atmosphere (cookies, lemonade, backgammon, tennis) was notably more relaxed than modern junior development environments; the competitive intensity came from the players themselves, not from external structure. Harry Hopman — legendary Australian Davis Cup coach who trained Laver, Rosewall, and others — was the director. The combination of a legendary coach, elite peers (McEnroe, Carrillo), and a socially positive environment produced players who loved the sport. The contrast with today’s professionally managed, highly structured, data-monitored junior training environment is implicit but relevant.

8. Talking Directly About Suicide Does Not Plant Ideas — It Creates Relief

Poon directly addresses the most common adult misconception about discussing suicide with young people: the fear that raising the topic will “plant the idea” in a mind that didn’t have it. Research cited by Poon (AFSP) is clear: this is false. Bringing suicidal ideation into the open creates relief in the person who is already experiencing it — the acknowledgment itself is therapeutic. Asking directly (“are you having thoughts of hurting yourself?”) does not create danger; avoiding the question does. For coaches and parents, the implication is direct: if you see warning signs (social withdrawal, behavioral changes, expressions of hopelessness, explicit statements about wanting to hurt oneself), ask directly and listen carefully.

Actionable Advice for Families

• Teach your child the distinction between mental toughness and mental health from an early age — toughening through discomfort during competition is a skill; processing clinical depression or anxiety is not in the same category and requires clinical support, not competitive willpower
• Take seriously any expression from your junior player about “not being able to handle things” or “feeling stuck” that goes beyond normal match frustration — these may be early indicators of mental health challenges that deserve clinical attention, not just coaching
• Watch the Marty Fish Netflix documentary with your older teen as a starting point for a genuine conversation about how mental health challenges manifest in high-performing athletes; it normalizes the conversation in a way that abstract discussion cannot

INTENNSE Relevance

• Mental health as league infrastructure: Gary Poon’s loss of Matt Stevenson — a well-loved junior tennis coach — to suicide after fifteen years of untreated underlying conditions is a direct argument for why INTENNSE needs to build mental health support into its player contract structure, not as an optional benefit but as a non-negotiable player welfare provision alongside medical and physiotherapy; the tennis coaching community has lost too many people to this
• AFSP tournament model for INTENNSE community events: The Matt Stevenson Series’ placement of mental health resources at the tournament registration desk — without making it a mandatory “session” or labeling it formally — is exactly the kind of low-friction community integration INTENNSE should adopt for its community events; mental health resources embedded in a tennis event reach people who would never attend a dedicated mental health program
• Mixed doubles as format signal: The Matt Stevenson Series offering mixed doubles in the 12s, 14s, and 16s — and New York participants actually filling those draws — is evidence that junior players will play mixed formats when the culture normalizes it; INTENNSE’s mixed-gender team format has the same logic at the professional level
• Mental toughness vs. mental health distinction in broadcast: INTENNSE coaches who can articulate this distinction on mic — “what you’re watching is a player managing mental pressure in competition; that’s different from what they may be carrying privately” — provide broadcast commentary that is both educationally valuable and humanizing; it transforms player behavior into teachable narrative rather than performance critique
• Stevenson’s story as INTENNSE origin narrative material: The arc of Gary Poon’s tribute to Matt Stevenson — a tennis coach who built programs from the ground up, reached 120-150 students, was loved by a community, and was lost to mental illness before anyone could adequately help him — is the kind of story INTENNSE should know and honor; the league’s player welfare philosophy should have named precedents like Stevenson’s behind it

Notable Quotes

“The emotional pain was too much for him. He took his own life in 2017 at the age of 32.”

“I thought the better way to reach out was to go through a sport that they love, like tennis, which I know a lot more about.”

“Mental toughness is what you do in competition. Mental health is what you want in life.”

“If a star like Coco Gauff or Naomi Osaka can say they’re suffering from depression — they’re human beings, just like you. You don’t have to feel alone.”

“Asking about suicide doesn’t plant the idea — they feel relieved that at least we’re acknowledging that there is that ideation, and we listen very carefully.”

“If your child comes to you and says they’re really nervous or freezing up out there — don’t brush it off. It’s too important.”